I’m getting clearer on what I want to do next. It feels like the right move, but I can feel the fear. How will I make money? Is this feasible? Where will I go? What will I do? Will I be alone? What is the point?
Listening to a youtube video the other day, Evan Rock discussed one’s purpose in life and how simple it can be. My purpose can be as plain as playing the piano every day. It doesn’t have to be some big, life altering thing. It can be focused on the things that bring you joy.
So what brings me joy? What has always brought me joy?
Something about going. Movement. Objects in motion. I love movement. Hence why I find myself writing this in Hawaii.
Stagnation and routine don’t settle well with me. I’m under the illusion of comfort when they appear in my life, but I’m starting to believe that’s my ego. My soul is on fire when I’m moving. That’s where my passion lies. Only thing is I’m feeling forced to monetize this passion of mine and fear keeps me grounded. When I’m actually happiest on the move.
When someone asks me what I want to do with my life, if I were to give them the truth, “travel” they wouldn’t understand or believe in me. I think this is why I couldn’t face the truth myself for so long.
I don’t want to be a travel blogger. I don’t want to work with companies and post ads for money. I don’t want to film my experiences and make Youtube videos. But I felt all those things were necessary if I were to travel for the unforeseeable future.
This could go one of two ways:
- I follow my passion and trust that things will work out the way they are meant to (and they do).
- I honor my passion like Elizabeth Gilbert says and don’t put the pressure of providing for me on it.
I’ve ignored my intuition SO many times. Don’t be like me. Listen to your gut. Don’t let your mind shut it out so easily.
I think there are so many people and experiences out there that I’m meant to encounter. This is the path for me, I just need to be brave enough to take that first step.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.